At this point, I have a front and back end that are no more than figments of my imagination. This means they are not yet apart of my actual body. I have drawn them out with a pen, but due to my shaky hand and lack of artistic ability (I’m more business-minded), these drawings are simply not very realistic. That’s why I need somebody who is good at developing back and front ends based on nothing more than an idea in my mind of what I want to look like. If we can create the front and back end I have in my mind (but not on my body), I am certain it will have a profound impact on the world.
I have spent the past year obsessing about my future back and front end, but unfortunately I know squat about developing body parts, and I’m very sorry I didn’t pay more attention in class.
Please be enthusiastic about body part development. I’m going to be up front: it’s going to be big. If you’re good, I promise to double your current salary. Don't back out of this opportunity, unless you want to get paid shit for the rest of your life.
-Jon
Enormous Power, Electricity
What does a girl have to do?
I have been posting here for a few months, had a few meetups even, but nothing has panned out.
I think the thing I have been doing wrong is that I've been trying to please when shouldn't I be trying to get exactly what I want?
So, I'm going to be very specific here this time.
Basically, I want a man who is huge. I want a man who generates enormous amounts of energy. I'm looking for someone who can help run the things around him. I want someone who reaches out in all directions, who has wires that stretch into all markets, who doesn't discriminate based on race or gender or creed but simply gives according to need. Of course, I don't want a weakling -- I want someone who can show tough love when it's needed, when people are behind on their payments, so to speak.
I want someone who takes up huge tracts of land in a crowded city, who isn't afraid to claim his own space and make his mark because he knows the world needs it. I want to climb your rivets and traverse your pipes and turbines. I want to feel my feelings shake in your magnetic field.
I want that shock, that first time buzzing.
I'm cute as a transistor and take all you've got to give.
And to hell with green and renewable -- I want dirty, exhaustive power.
I want electricity.
RESPONSES
1.
Hi! This is Anthony. That's a great ad. I am a kind, caring and fit 45 y/o.
2.
your the best i hope you find what it is your looking for
3.
im ready and charged up for u want some ? holla babck xoxo
Marco
4.
Describe yourself
5.
What if I trade energy commodities futures? Does that qualify?
6.
I am about 28 years old, 5.8" tall, dark hair, brown eyes, fair tan
complexion, and slender but medium build. Sweet smile kind eyes and soft
silky seductive voice. I am an open-minded fun, down to earth, loving,
sensitive and low maintenance. Most people describe me as kind, honest and
trustworthy. I have good sense of humor and sometimes I am a little
sarcastic.
I have been posting here for a few months, had a few meetups even, but nothing has panned out.
I think the thing I have been doing wrong is that I've been trying to please when shouldn't I be trying to get exactly what I want?
So, I'm going to be very specific here this time.
Basically, I want a man who is huge. I want a man who generates enormous amounts of energy. I'm looking for someone who can help run the things around him. I want someone who reaches out in all directions, who has wires that stretch into all markets, who doesn't discriminate based on race or gender or creed but simply gives according to need. Of course, I don't want a weakling -- I want someone who can show tough love when it's needed, when people are behind on their payments, so to speak.
I want someone who takes up huge tracts of land in a crowded city, who isn't afraid to claim his own space and make his mark because he knows the world needs it. I want to climb your rivets and traverse your pipes and turbines. I want to feel my feelings shake in your magnetic field.
I want that shock, that first time buzzing.
I'm cute as a transistor and take all you've got to give.
And to hell with green and renewable -- I want dirty, exhaustive power.
I want electricity.
RESPONSES
1.
Hi! This is Anthony. That's a great ad. I am a kind, caring and fit 45 y/o.
2.
your the best i hope you find what it is your looking for
3.
im ready and charged up for u want some ? holla babck xoxo
Marco
4.
Describe yourself
5.
What if I trade energy commodities futures? Does that qualify?
6.
HI
I enjoyed reading your profile. I would love to get to know you and may be even meet soon. I am looking start with building a solid friendship that will lead to something more as chemistry develops. You sound like quite a catch. I was really impressed after reading your profile. You seem to be very colorful , vibrant , energetic person with diverse interest.
I enjoyed reading your profile. I would love to get to know you and may be even meet soon. I am looking start with building a solid friendship that will lead to something more as chemistry develops. You sound like quite a catch. I was really impressed after reading your profile. You seem to be very colorful , vibrant , energetic person with diverse interest.
More about me
I am an accomplished professional finally enjoying the fruits of many years of academic work.
I am looking for companion who I can share both an intense physical and intellectual connection. I am a very open minded and understand sometime you have give to get something. I also posses the temperament and maturity to accept a mutually beneficial relationship.
I am about 28 years old, 5.8" tall, dark hair, brown eyes, fair tan
complexion, and slender but medium build. Sweet smile kind eyes and soft
silky seductive voice. I am an open-minded fun, down to earth, loving,
sensitive and low maintenance. Most people describe me as kind, honest and
trustworthy. I have good sense of humor and sometimes I am a little
sarcastic.
I love people of all ages, color, creed and religion. I am very open
and up front. I am looking for mature and stable person who has interesting
experiences to share. I enjoy the beauty of a conversation which
includes talking to someone not at them, listening without feeling
defensive and talking with being offensive. Honesty, virtue, morals,
values and intellectual conversations stimulate me and intrigue me. I
look for people who are not just "typical" and have more to offer in a
character than the usual and what's to be expected. I love hanging out
with friends and watching movies, eating out and traveling. To be
honest I have been globe trotting ever since I was born. I also enjoy
sports, outdoor activities .
Professionally, I work as a marketing project manager for an upcoming
marketing agency. I have a lot of responsibility but enjoy my work as I get
to work with a very talented team and work on challenging projects. I have
been working in this firm for last two years .
I consider my self to be very passionate and romantic person. I a looking
for someone open minded, down to earth, some who appreciates diversity and
culture. I do not have too many requirements, I believe if there is mutual
attraction and complementary life goals between two people, everything else
can be overcome.
If you are interested please a-mail me. I hope we can at least be friend if
not more.
Take care
7.
Well I must say that your ad is one of a kind. It does get to the point. So....My name is -------. Im 26 and I live in brooklyn with a roomate and my dog. Im not really sure about this whole internet thing but i thought that i would give it a try. So instead of going all out and writing everything about me I will tell you just a couple of things. First off I was in the military. US ARMY to be exact. I did four years and got out and then moved here to the city. I have been here since 2004. I guess its cool so far. I am a large man im 6 ft 1 inch and i am about 260 pounds. I cant say that I know what else to write so I will leave the next step to you. You can email me back and we can see what transpires. take care
Professionally, I work as a marketing project manager for an upcoming
marketing agency. I have a lot of responsibility but enjoy my work as I get
to work with a very talented team and work on challenging projects. I have
been working in this firm for last two years .
I consider my self to be very passionate and romantic person. I a looking
for someone open minded, down to earth, some who appreciates diversity and
culture. I do not have too many requirements, I believe if there is mutual
attraction and complementary life goals between two people, everything else
can be overcome.
If you are interested please a-mail me. I hope we can at least be friend if
not more.
Take care
7.
Well I must say that your ad is one of a kind. It does get to the point. So....My name is -------. Im 26 and I live in brooklyn with a roomate and my dog. Im not really sure about this whole internet thing but i thought that i would give it a try. So instead of going all out and writing everything about me I will tell you just a couple of things. First off I was in the military. US ARMY to be exact. I did four years and got out and then moved here to the city. I have been here since 2004. I guess its cool so far. I am a large man im 6 ft 1 inch and i am about 260 pounds. I cant say that I know what else to write so I will leave the next step to you. You can email me back and we can see what transpires. take care
I Can't Stop Crying :)
So, this is the first time for me LOL. I thought maybe I'd just try this personals thing out to see if it works, haha. Well, first, or course -- no weirdos. That's not what I'm into.
So, a little about me, though. I'm cute and curvy and I can't stop crying. I have a good job that I like and tears are constantly coming out of my eyes. I like watching sports and having a few beers and it's not only my eyes but every part of my body that I'm crying from lol. I have brown air, I'm 5'4" and I think I'm going to drown soon because I'm stuck on the second floor of my house and can't get out because the tears have risen up to the baseboards below. I listen to most kinds of music and I like to go dancing and I think my body is filling with water, too, LOL because the tears flow both ways. I say what I think and I have lost all my belongings to the constant rising tide. I love going to the movies and all of my organs are enormous ducts that flood everything around me like the hoover dam of pain haha.
BTW you should be at least 6' and have a good job, no loafers. Don't live with your mom. Please, no penis pics. Please be an industrial strength wet vac or former sewage draining vehicle in search of an LTR. No sponges -- I don't have time for that.
So, a little about me, though. I'm cute and curvy and I can't stop crying. I have a good job that I like and tears are constantly coming out of my eyes. I like watching sports and having a few beers and it's not only my eyes but every part of my body that I'm crying from lol. I have brown air, I'm 5'4" and I think I'm going to drown soon because I'm stuck on the second floor of my house and can't get out because the tears have risen up to the baseboards below. I listen to most kinds of music and I like to go dancing and I think my body is filling with water, too, LOL because the tears flow both ways. I say what I think and I have lost all my belongings to the constant rising tide. I love going to the movies and all of my organs are enormous ducts that flood everything around me like the hoover dam of pain haha.
BTW you should be at least 6' and have a good job, no loafers. Don't live with your mom. Please, no penis pics. Please be an industrial strength wet vac or former sewage draining vehicle in search of an LTR. No sponges -- I don't have time for that.
Can you Imagine a Nutless World? Because I can't. In Fact, I Love Nuts
Sure I was lonely, but what with the peanut butter strike coming to an end and the peanut butter boys heading back to work, I was now on the verge of debuting a sensational peanut butter cookie in our bakery.
That is, until a customer barged in and demanded that we open another bakery –
“Another bakery?” I asked.
“A nut free bakery!” she cooed.
Yes, "nut-free," I mused. I could see it now: A wondrous place where people with nut allergies could experience all of our tasty offerings without being rushed to the hospital, helpless and puffy like an almond croissant – without the almonds.
Wait a second. No almonds? This isn’t my bakery – it’s a nightmare.
Immediately, I felt like pointing out that it would never be a truly “nut-free” bakery so long as she was there. But I had to be cautious because this woman was clearly a genuine allergy Nazi – a rare and dangerous breed of wild customer.
Yet, I couldn’t keep her animal rage at bay. I stood there in awe as she audaciously requested, in all seriousness, that I invest in a wholly separate facility to cater to the “no-nut” niche – as if my wallet were an endless extension of the US economy.
That’s not all either: she wasn’t a mere run-of-the-mill “nut-free” nut passively on the prowl for no-nut treats. Oh, no – she cross-examined our baked goods, one eye at the end of a telescope aggressively aimed at our pastry case. Yes, she practically held us at gunpoint, demanding proof written in type O blood, just to guarantee her that not even the tiniest speck of peanut dust had "contaminated" her child's precious little nutless cupcake – or anything at all within a 12 mile radius.
"Peanut dust?" I asked her.
“It’s like cat dander,” she said. “Except it’s nuts.”
It’s nuts, alright, I thought.
She claimed that even the tiniest molecule of peanut dust could cause her child's airways to narrow, his tongue to swell – such that he might lose consciousness, die, or cause a negligible nuclear incident in a small village in Sudan.
That was rather bleak. I know someone in that village.I considered suggesting she purchase a bubble for her son, as it might be more affordable than erecting an entire nut-free enterprise, just so that her son can nosh on one “nut-free” cookie for the rest of his life.
Would you believe that lady? If you know what I'm talking about, cum nibble nuts with me for free at my nut-infused bakery. Pic for pic.
A Dry Heave Rushes Across The Fields
I cough up blood, sinks,
and directions to my house.
Come, AND BRING THE SPONGE.
and directions to my house.
Come, AND BRING THE SPONGE.
Assitance Needed
My soul has grown extra limbs. It started as what I thought were gas pains. When I saw the doctor, he suspected cancer, tumors. Scans revealed nothing.
Soon, though, the pain got worse, and out of my eyes and ears and nostrils and my mouth and my anus came long arms with teeth.
They are invisible to the naked eye, but they nevertheless swing all about me swatting at the people near by.
My soul's eight limbs steal things at the grocery store and bodega without my knowing. When I get home at the end of the day, my body is full of candies and pens that I have unwittingly absconded with.
Who wants to get close enough to let my octosoul steal their heart?
I feel it swimming around inside me, my soul, and it is building a nest out of my organs. It is building a place to sit on your heart and hatch it. It has moved my lungs and my spleen and my appendix to a place just behind my intestines and it is molding it all into a hovel that I know, eventually, I will have to enter as well.
Will you hold my bellybutton open while I crawl into myself?
Soon, though, the pain got worse, and out of my eyes and ears and nostrils and my mouth and my anus came long arms with teeth.
They are invisible to the naked eye, but they nevertheless swing all about me swatting at the people near by.
My soul's eight limbs steal things at the grocery store and bodega without my knowing. When I get home at the end of the day, my body is full of candies and pens that I have unwittingly absconded with.
Who wants to get close enough to let my octosoul steal their heart?
I feel it swimming around inside me, my soul, and it is building a nest out of my organs. It is building a place to sit on your heart and hatch it. It has moved my lungs and my spleen and my appendix to a place just behind my intestines and it is molding it all into a hovel that I know, eventually, I will have to enter as well.
Will you hold my bellybutton open while I crawl into myself?
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